Coach Mapes

Solving the problem and creating a new problem

This life and organizational issue rears its ugly head every year, or month, or week in my forty year experiece as an executive and father. When problems are not confronted squarely, in reality, there is usually a solution to the supposed problem that ultimately becomes the new problem because the real problem never got addressed.

One long term example is with raising children.  Toddlers want their own way and when they throw a fit and get their way, the opportunity to learn that they are not the center of the universe is lost for at least that episode.  Given enough of those opportunities that are lost the child grows up to become an adult that never learned the important lesson.  So the parent avoids the short term pain of disciplining their child in exchange for transferring the pain to the child years later due to self centered behavior that will cause significant problems in relationships.  Those childish adults are unable to become a friend to anyone because they are so self centered that they focus on only their own needs and are not concerned about helping meet other’s needs.  They won’t be there for others but they will expect or demand that others are there for them.  They are the takers and both you and I have spent time with them and felt the relief of getting away from them.  This example is simplified but you see the point, there is a cause and effect.  Deal with the real issue so that it gets handled to a positive outcome, which results in a long term gain; or don’t, and have the greater pain later.  Truth sets the captives free.